Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

What is the best time for conception?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

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I actually pay taxes

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Why do Americans and foreigners alike describe the USA as prudish? Why do I see nothing prudish about the USA society? USA feels like one of the loosest countries although Americans claim to be very reserved.

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Why do some people never get to on a date even though they wanted to? Are they just too ugly and weird for everybody?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

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I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Is it ok to be spanked by your parents if you are not in bed in your set bedtime?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

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A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

How do great movie moments influence how people handle real-life moral dilemmas?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

What do you do to make yourself sleep early?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Why, after a divorce, would one still want to ruin the other one’s life?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I can count

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

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I see through liars

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

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I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

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I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t buy bullshit

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

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I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Did another parent ever tell you something about your child that you didn’t know?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I can read